A few years back there was a man who caused my sister, Kristin, a great deal of grief and anxiety. Let’s call him Dave.

Long story short, Dave was inadvisably employed in a managerial role.  Those he managed thought he sucked in the job and complained regularly to her husband Craig (who couldn’t do anything about it – but would have done an excellent job in the position).  Kristin longed for the day that Dave would be fired or would quit, but it just wasn’t happening, much to her dismay.

One day when Kristin was lamenting the latest Dave saga, and knowing (from our previous conversations) that Dave considered himself a religious man, I jokingly suggested that perhaps he needed specific communication from God on the topic. A revelation, if you will. This idea amused Kristin greatly and she insisted I follow through.   So we cooked up a plan which kept us entertained for months.

Over the next several months, Dave began receiving personal postcards from God every 5 – 10 days. They were mailed to his office, and the return address was “God, Everywhere“. Each postcard was sent from a different location (God is omnipresent, you know) – and from as far away as Singapore, Australia and Europe. Thank you to those of you who helped out by mailing one of the postcards on God’s behalf

Here is the first postcard:

And the next:

A couple of weeks into it, Satan wanted in on the action and sent his first postcard to vie for Dave’s soul. They were all sent with a return address of: Phoenix, Gateway to Hell.

We never learned if Dave read his postcards or what he thought about them, but Kristin and I laughed ourselves silly over the whole thing. I still laugh out loud every time I read some of these messages.

For the entire God vs. Satan Postcard dialogue, click here, then come back and share your thoughts.

Do you have a favorite message from either of these powerful beings?

BTW – it took quite awhile, but Dave DID eventually quit his managerial position.

As only he can, Stephen Colbert gives the Report treatment to the detention by Mormon church security of a gay couple after they shared a kiss on the cheek while walking through the plaza.

Enjoy.  Unless you’re LDS and homophobic… then I advise you to NOT watch

.

Write up in the SL Tribune indicates the show got permission from the church to film on the property…. but they didn’t specify they’d be shooting a parody of the “kiss incident”…

I’ve been extremely neglectful of my blog. I’m sorry. I actually have several titillating articles started, but haven’t had the time or energy to complete them yet.

Just returned today from a trip to Utah where I visited with family and took photos of a wedding and a bridal shoot…. once I recover I promise to regale you with fascinating tales of intrigue, valor and humor. Maybe not. How about I just promise to write something soon.

In the meantime, I will leave you with a Kennedyism that had me in tears, along with a picture of the bride.

Ashley, Kennedy and I were in the car, Ashley and I chatting away. Kennedy interrupts with:

K: “Mom…. Mom?…. ”
A: “Yes, Kennedy?”
K: “Mom, do you know how hot you are?”
A: (Ashley and I exchange amused glances)… “Um, no – how hot am I?”
K: You’re as hot as a CORNDOG! You’re SO HOT!

She provides constant entertainment…..

And here’s the lovely bride – Ashley Creger Roberts:

While at the Hallmark store the other day, I came across a card that made me burst out laughing.

Even though I have no one to send it to, I just had to buy it – and I share it with you now.   I hope at least some of you find it amusing.

Congratulations.

I heard an interview with the fabulous Isabella Rossellini on NPR today – and learned of this insightful yet hysterical educational project she’s doing for the Sundance Channel.  

Each of these videos is only about 2 minutes long, and explores the sex life of a bug or sea creature.   I learned a lot. I had a hard time deciding which to post as your introduction…   several of them made me burst out laughing. 

I give you snail porno.  I warn you… snails are pretty kinky

You really need to go to The Sundance Channel website and watch all of these. Season one was about bugs – spiders, worms, praying mantis, etc. Season two has sea creatures – limpets, whales, starfish, etc.

Please go watch them and tell me which are your favorites.

The more I see and hear of Fox News rising star, Glenn Beck, the more I think he’s lost it. I really wonder if all his fans really buy into his “the end is near” rantings or are merely entertained by his ridiculousness.

Stephen Colbert to the rescue… after his brilliant parody of Glenn’s “War Room“, last night he took on the hypocricy of the 9.12 project – and offered up his own hilarious 10.31 project in response. Enjoy.
       

Dear World:

We, the United States of America, your top quality supplier of the ideals of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008 interruption in service. The technical fault that led to this eight-year service outage has been located, and the software responsible was replaced November 4.

Early tests of the newly installed program were conducted to make sure it was operating correctly before final release. We are pleased to announce that we are fully functional as of January 20. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage. We look forward to resuming full service and hope to improve in years to come. We thank you for your patience and understanding,

Sincerely,
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Often when I go to sleep it’s like going to the movies, as I mentioned in a previous post.   Last night’s feature had me waking up laughing….

Much of the dream is too convoluted to try and describe here (though it made perfect sense while I was asleep) but there were a couple of scenes worth sharing.

This dream began with me visiting Michelle’s home in Arizona.   There was a big upcoming event she was planning/preparing for – a wedding, I believe.  

In this scene, we were hanging out in her living room, which had an alarmingly 70’s feel to it.  Think brown bricked fireplace, rust colored carpet.   And she had a big flat screen TV sitting in the middle of the floor, which Tim was watching, that had an unusual/interesting feature.  She could slide a row of votive candles into a slot at the bottom, and you could see them glowing through the base of the tv.

All of a sudden, she turned and picked up a blanket and announced (in her “talking to cats” voice), “It’s time for kitties in a blanket….” and proceeded to scoop up two cats (Fatness and one other), cradling them in a blanket  “… to get their Vitamin D!”

As she walked over to the door to take the cats out into the sun, I thought “what the hell is she doing???”… I pointed out, “Um… Michelle, it’s night.  There is no sun.”    Of course we both burst out laughing.  

What makes this particularly funny is that it is something I can totally imagine happening!

In the next scene, Michelle was trying on potential outfits to wear to the formal affair.  She looked rather hot it a china blue stretch-satin number…  it was quite short, form fitting, and had a round cutout in the lower back area.  We all thought it was a very good choice since it showed off her tattoos. 

Initially,  it appeared she just had some deep red cursive writing (not sure what it said – something relating to her love for Tim I believe… or perhaps her devpotion to Fatness) along her very, very low back… but then I noticed she also had several larger, graffiti-like tattoos higher up on her back.     So, what did it say, Michelle?

She wasn’t sure she liked the jacquard, champaign colored jacket that went with it, but we noticed the blue perfectly matched the blue dresses that Chris, Sween and Erica were wearing.     I won’t go into the event itself, but suffice it to say that it didn’t go as planned, photographer missed shooting pics of bouquet throwing, desserts ended up on the floor and I kept wishing that Scott Sheffield would return the crystal serving platter I’d lent him, so we could use it for the remaining desserts. But everyone looked awesome in their China blue satin.

So, have you any interesting dreams recently you’d like to share?

Meet Amy Haase. I like her, and here’s why.

Last night, Kristin & Craig were in town and invited me to join them for dinner at Machiavelli’s in Seattle.  
     

Can I just go off topic here for a minute and rave again about the food at this little restaurant???    Deciding between the Chicken Milanese and the Tortellini Formaggio with Cream Sauce, Proscuitto and Peas is always a daunting task. (I went with the Chicken Milanese with roasted veggies on the side – Kris opted for the Tortellini and we shared a bit with each other).  Craig enjoyed the Chicken al Forno with a side of Spaghetti (which he rated 9 on a scale of 10). Simply put, Machiavelli’s is the BEST Italian food I have ever had – surprisingly affordable, and in my top 3 restaurants of all time…  don’t ask what the other 2 are, I haven’t decided, just leaving the spots open.   Personally, I think it would be worth your while to make a trip to Seattle just to eat at this little gem. But you have to invite me to join you, of course. This was Craig’s first visit – perhaps he can tell you if it lived up to all of the hype……

OK, back to Amy. After dinner, we drove back to Molbak’s (where I had left my car) and Kristin and I ran in for a potty break while Craig ran an errand to a man store (auto parts). As we were waiting for his return, we gandered at the billions of poinsettias, and I convinced Kristin to sit in front of the giant poinsettia tree so I could take her photo. She was reluctant, but agreed.

While sitting on the bench waiting for me to snap a shot, she said “I feel silly.”

And at that moment, a fellow shopper says “I’ll sit with you!”

Delighted, we laughed and invited her to do so, and she did.

Amy is a spontaneous, fun and thoughtful person – stepped outside herself to try and help someone else feel more comfortable – just the sort of person we’d love to get to know. We learned she has been living in North Carolina, but is looking to make a return to Seattle (where her family lives.) We hope you do, Amy!

After all this excitement, Kristin discovered she needed another potty break – and I, apparently, needed to amuse myself while waiting for her.

So I stuck my camera over the stall to snap her photo – and found the shot I captured to be absolutely hysterical. Don’t ask me why.  Maybe I was drunk with the joy of my Machiavelli meal and our encounter with Amy, but I showed Kristin the photo, and we both came out of the bathroom with tears running down our cheeks, barely able to breathe from laughter. Craig thought we were nuts. I think he’s probably right.

What fun people have you met in unexpected ways and places?