Posted on May 2nd, 2008 by Allison (Funny Stuff, Politics / Social Issues)

Be careful… there are a few trick questions….

Click here to take the Bush-McCain Challenge!

The Carrot - a better candidate that McCain!If you get enough answers correct, you advance to my favorite part – the final round…

The McCain-Carrot face off!

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Posted on May 1st, 2008 by Allison (Cat Tales, Funny Stuff, Whatever)

For all my feline loving friends….   enjoy

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Posted on Dec 16th, 2007 by Allison (Family/Friends, Funny Stuff)

I just returned…  well recently returned from a brief trip to Salt Lake to visit my kids/grandbabies….  photos forthcoming.  However – before I forget, I just had to share some cute Kennedy-isms.   She is so entertaining.

On a visit to Aunt Kathy’s house, we were chatting while Kennedy (age 3) played on the floor near Kathy’s feet.   After awhile, Kennedy looked up at her and said, very earnestly, “Your feet smell like roses!” ….   to which a bemused Kathy showered her with hugs and kisses.

Kenney RaeI slept at Kathy’s that night – and the next day when Kennedy & Ashley came to pick me up, Kathy walked out in her nightgown and blue/flowered housecoat.    Kennedy poused only a moment and then said, “I like your pretty dress….”     and was rewarded with more hugs and kisses.

Later that day we had lunch with my mom.  During a break in our conversation, Kennedy looked up at my mom and said, I like your eyebrows.”   LOL. . .       
That one had to be my favorite.

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Would you be caught dead in this?I just experienced an amazing flashback to the late 70s, thanks to blogger Johnny Virgil

Actually, this was sent to me in an email with no credits, but after a little googling I was able to track down the original source – and he deserves some credit for this LOL masterpiece.

Join me on a magic carpet ride as we take a walk down memory lane or, if you’re too young to remember, take a peek into my high school years as told through a 1977 JC Penneys Catalog, with color commentary.   

Click here and then tell me if this isn’t the funniest thing you’ve read in a year.

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Posted on Sep 27th, 2007 by Allison (Funny Stuff, Politics / Social Issues)

Children DO learn – but apparently, George Bush does not. 

This is priceless, especially considering the topic and audience.

There is an idiot in the Whitehouse….

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Posted on Aug 31st, 2007 by Allison (Funny Stuff)

This is a guest entry from my sister, Kristin, relating an incident that occurred last night. I hope you enjoy it.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzSo there I was, peacefully sleeping in my bed at 1:34 in the morning, when I was rudely awakened by my cell phone ringing. You see, I recently increased the volume on my cell because I found I wasn’t hearing it and was therefore missing calls. So I turned it up a bit. Well, a lot I guess because the phone, which was far away in the kitchen, woke me up. It even woke my husband up, who normally sleeps like a dead man.

I thought (and he asked) who in the world would be calling your cell phone at this hour?

I decided that it must be a wrong number, and promptly fell back asleep. That only lasted for about 2 minutes, because I then heard the “You have voicemail” chime.

It’s kind of unusual for a wrong number to leave a message,” I thought.  I was contemplating who might have called, but drifting off to sleep when it RANG AGAIN! Okay, that’s enough. You see, awhile back, we had to change our phone number. ”  Apparently it happened to be just one digit off from the local towing company. 

ClockImagine the joy of receiving phone calls at 2am from some drunken man who had, upon staggering out of the local bar, run his car into a fire hydrant and needed a tow truck to come haul his El Camino away. So we changed the number. We settled back happily thinking the calls were over when we found, to our dismay, that we were given the phone number previously assigned to one Bobbi Jo Johnson who was obviously way behind on her bills.  But I digress.

No one I know would be calling me at this hour unless it was an emergency, and even then, they could call me on my house phone. So it must be some confused, highly annoying but misguided soul who had not yet got the message that he was not calling Javier.  So at 1:37 am, I dragged myself out of bed (which is kind hard for me to do in the middle of the night because I take a cocktail of prescription drugs right before bed that cause me to be quite dopey and to bump around with my eyes closed in the night) and I made my way to the phone which had just stopped ringing.

Who are these people and are they going to keep calling me!?

Ring! Ring!I opened up my phone and saw that, lo and behold, ALLISON was calling me!  Okay, here it is at 1:37am, and I’ve received 2 calls from her and one voicemail; this must be an emergency. I immediately called her cell phone because that is the number she called me from. Ring, Ring. I get no answer. This is alarming.  She could be calling me from the trunk of some evil man’s car.

So I dialed up and listen to her voicemail. It was exceedingly odd. She did not speak; instead there was a collection of strange noises like screeching and squeaking. Then some bumping noises, after which it then sounded sort of like a combination of a washing machine and a furnace. trunk.jpgThis was right in line with my theory that she was in someone’s trunk.

Then there was something that sounded vaguely like a toilet flushing. Disturbing. So of course I then called her home phone. It rang several times, with me getting more nervous with each ring, when she finally answered the phone.

I slur into the phone: “You called me. Did you need me?”
Allison: “Did I call you?”
Me: “Yes, you called me.”
Allison: “I did?”
Me: “Yes! You did. You called me from your cell phone.”
Allison: “No I didn’t. My phone isn’t even near me.”
Me: “It says right here on my phone that you called me at 1:34am.”
Allison: “My cell phone is across the room. I could not have called you.”
Me: “I know you called me.”
Allison: “Are you sure? Okay, I’ll go get it, it’s over there in my pants.”
Allison: “It says I have missed a call! But I didn’t hear the phone ring. Oh, YOU called ME!”
Me: “I did not!!”
Allison: “Yes, it says here you called me at 1:37am. That was 5 minutes ago.”
Me: “Oh, yeah, I guess I did. But you didn’t answer the phone!”
Allison: “hmmm… I didn’t hear the phone ring. That’s odd… the phone is only a few feet away from me. Well, I’m sure I didn’t call you.”
Allison again: ” …Oh, my phone says I called you at 1:34am.”
Me: “Exactly. Why did you call?”
Allison: “But I didn’t call you, my phone has been over there in my pants all the time.”….
Me: “You mean…. your PANTS are calling me?”
Allison: “They must be lonely.”

After a great deal of laughing, giggling and bending over in laughter, I giggled my way back to bed.

          Craig: “So who’s calling you in the middle of the night?”

          Me: Giggle, giggle… Allison’s pants!! Giggle, laugh out loud…

I giggled thoughout the night.

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Posted on Aug 30th, 2007 by Allison (Funny Stuff, Politics / Social Issues)

Meet the 3rd Runner up from the Miss Teen USA 2007 Pageant. I’ve been wondering if she could be George Bush’s illigitimate daughter…???

I can’t decide if it is funny or just sad.

Thanks to Kristin for alerting me to this gem.

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