This is a guest entry from my sister, Kristin, relating an incident that occurred last night. I hope you enjoy it.
So there I was, peacefully sleeping in my bed at 1:34 in the morning, when I was rudely awakened by my cell phone ringing. You see, I recently increased the volume on my cell because I found I wasn’t hearing it and was therefore missing calls. So I turned it up a bit. Well, a lot I guess because the phone, which was far away in the kitchen, woke me up. It even woke my husband up, who normally sleeps like a dead man.
I thought (and he asked) who in the world would be calling your cell phone at this hour?
I decided that it must be a wrong number, and promptly fell back asleep. That only lasted for about 2 minutes, because I then heard the “You have voicemail” chime.
“It’s kind of unusual for a wrong number to leave a message,” I thought. I was contemplating who might have called, but drifting off to sleep when it RANG AGAIN! Okay, that’s enough. You see, awhile back, we had to change our phone number. “ Apparently it happened to be just one digit off from the local towing company.Â
Imagine the joy of receiving phone calls at 2am from some drunken man who had, upon staggering out of the local bar, run his car into a fire hydrant and needed a tow truck to come haul his El Camino away. So we changed the number. We settled back happily thinking the calls were over when we found, to our dismay, that we were given the phone number previously assigned to one Bobbi Jo Johnson who was obviously way behind on her bills. But I digress.
No one I know would be calling me at this hour unless it was an emergency, and even then, they could call me on my house phone. So it must be some confused, highly annoying but misguided soul who had not yet got the message that he was not calling Javier. So at 1:37 am, I dragged myself out of bed (which is kind hard for me to do in the middle of the night because I take a cocktail of prescription drugs right before bed that cause me to be quite dopey and to bump around with my eyes closed in the night) and I made my way to the phone which had just stopped ringing.
Who are these people and are they going to keep calling me!?
I opened up my phone and saw that, lo and behold, ALLISON was calling me! Okay, here it is at 1:37am, and I’ve received 2 calls from her and one voicemail; this must be an emergency. I immediately called her cell phone because that is the number she called me from. Ring, Ring. I get no answer. This is alarming. She could be calling me from the trunk of some evil man’s car.
So I dialed up and listen to her voicemail. It was exceedingly odd. She did not speak; instead there was a collection of strange noises like screeching and squeaking. Then some bumping noises, after which it then sounded sort of like a combination of a washing machine and a furnace. 
This was right in line with my theory that she was in someone’s trunk.
Then there was something that sounded vaguely like a toilet flushing. Disturbing. So of course I then called her home phone. It rang several times, with me getting more nervous with each ring, when she finally answered the phone.
I slur into the phone: “You called me. Did you need me?”
Allison: “Did I call you?”
Me: “Yes, you called me.”
Allison: “I did?”
Me: “Yes! You did. You called me from your cell phone.”
Allison: “No I didn’t. My phone isn’t even near me.”
Me: “It says right here on my phone that you called me at 1:34am.”
Allison: “My cell phone is across the room. I could not have called you.”
Me: “I know you called me.”
Allison: “Are you sure? Okay, I’ll go get it, it’s over there in my pants.”
Pause.
Allison: “It says I have missed a call! But I didn’t hear the phone ring. Oh, YOU called ME!”
Me: “I did not!!”
Allison: “Yes, it says here you called me at 1:37am. That was 5 minutes ago.”
Me: “Oh, yeah, I guess I did. But you didn’t answer the phone!”
Allison: “hmmm… I didn’t hear the phone ring. That’s odd… the phone is only a few feet away from me. Well, I’m sure I didn’t call you.”
Pause.
Allison again: ” …Oh, my phone says I called you at 1:34am.”
Me: “Exactly. Why did you call?”
Allison: “But I didn’t call you, my phone has been over there in my pants all the time.”….
Me: “You mean…. your PANTS are calling me?”
Allison: “They must be lonely.”
After a great deal of laughing, giggling and bending over in laughter, I giggled my way back to bed.
         Craig: “So who’s calling you in the middle of the night?”
         Me: Giggle, giggle… Allison’s pants!! Giggle, laugh out loud…
I giggled thoughout the night.
This may be one of those “You had to be there” experiences, but it was the most hilarious moment I’ve experienced in a long, long time.
Oh yes, this is one we’ll be laughing at for a long time to come. I’ve had tears rolling down my cheeks as I read and remember…..
And I still don’t know how my phone (which was closed/keypad inaccessible), dialed your number while tucked in the pocket of my pants… which were lying crumpled on the bathroom floor.
Thanks for taking time to write this up Kris… I love it….
LOL Kris you should be a writer !!! It’s funny though trying to figure out how it happened.
aybe one of Allisons huge spiders walked accross it and stepped on the redial number or something.
Allison’s house must have ghosts. That like to play with her….pants?? And cell phone? Maybe a poltergeist? It’s Peeves!! *cackle*
This hilarious story reminds me of my mother. Chris and I frequently get “called” by her cellphone that is laying at the bottom of her purse…so those “trunk” noises you described sound very familiar. I loved the story of Allison’s magical pants…maybe her pants missed you Kristin.
So what did the voicemail say????
Okay, totally totally off topic here, but Hey Jean, wasn’t it your birthday yesterday? Happy Birthday!
This reminds me, just a little bit, about a repeated wrong number my mother would get back in the 70s. Some guy would call in the middle of the night, call her “Beverly” and accuse her of all sorts of things. “Beverly – I know that’s you, Beverly….”
Ah, don’t you miss the days before caller ID when you could actually get away with prank phone calls? My favorite, of course, is the “Hitler Project” prank Michelle and I pulled on fellow classmates in high school, tricking them into bringing a variety of objects (potato, toilet paper, umbrella, etc.) to class – must to the bemusement of the teacher : )
Kristin- that is a great story- I love how you told it 🙂
Mom- your pants must have been really lonely that night… I was awoken by a lovely ringing sound at 12:40 am that same morning, only to find that it was my mother calling me. I picked it up and said “hello??”… Obviously, thinking something was wrong, since, like Kristin said, she doesn’t usually call at that time of night. Well, the response on the other end was a bunch of scratching, bumping, and yes- it did sort of sound like a furnace. I was no longer worried, because if she were stuck in a trunk and wanted to get out, I’m not the one she’d call, since I live a few states away. I figured she just accidentally pushed “re-dial” or something, so I hung up. Then blamed the re-dial feature again, so I didn’t answer.
I guess her pants were longing for someone to talk to.
I don’t like that I can’t edit my entry- I was reading what I had written and realized that I completely left a part out and it is very confusing. So … when I said “Then blamed the re-dial feature again”… it should read like this:
“I fell back asleep and was awoken once again at 1:24 by my mother (obviously her pants) calling me once more. I just blamed the re-dial feature…. etc.”
So yes, my mother’s pants called me twice that night as well.
Well, we can’t both be on re-dial, so that theory is losing ground. I’m starting to think it really is her pants. Which pair was it, Allison? I’d keep a close eye on them if I were you.
Oh this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO funny. I’ll laugh and smile all day now :o)
It’s very strange both Kris and Ashley were called…Maybe you should get rid of those pants, no telling what lengths they may go to for some company and conversation.
You do most definately have a gift for writing Kris..Loved it.. It’s even better than my lost in the bathroom experience.
Oh, I don’t know – that lost in the bathroom story is pretty darn funny, “hee hee hee hee-ing” with your bar of soap….. Knowing how that sea-sick patch effected you, I’ll bet you’d be the life of the party if someone slipped you a micky 🙂 LOL….
Just be glad her pants didn’t actually speak to you… If one of you said they did, we’d feel bad for you… but if both of you had a conversation with her pants, it would be a little scarey..
I just re-read this entry and have tears streaming again… this was so damn funny.