This is a guest entry from my sister, Kristin, relating an incident that occurred last night. I hope you enjoy it.

So there I was, peacefully sleeping in my bed at 1:34 in the morning, when I was rudely awakened by my cell phone ringing. You see, I recently increased the volume on my cell because I found I wasn’t hearing it and was therefore missing calls. So I turned it up a bit. Well, a lot I guess because the phone, which was far away in the kitchen, woke me up. It even woke my husband up, who normally sleeps like a dead man.

I thought (and he asked) who in the world would be calling your cell phone at this hour?

I decided that it must be a wrong number, and promptly fell back asleep. That only lasted for about 2 minutes, because I then heard the “You have voicemail” chime.

“It’s kind of unusual for a wrong number to leave a message,” I thought.  I was contemplating who might have called, but drifting off to sleep when it RANG AGAIN! Okay, that’s enough. You see, awhile back, we had to change our phone number. “  Apparently it happened to be just one digit off from the local towing company. 

Imagine the joy of receiving phone calls at 2am from some drunken man who had, upon staggering out of the local bar, run his car into a fire hydrant and needed a tow truck to come haul his El Camino away. So we changed the number. We settled back happily thinking the calls were over when we found, to our dismay, that we were given the phone number previously assigned to one Bobbi Jo Johnson who was obviously way behind on her bills.  But I digress.

No one I know would be calling me at this hour unless it was an emergency, and even then, they could call me on my house phone. So it must be some confused, highly annoying but misguided soul who had not yet got the message that he was not calling Javier.  So at 1:37 am, I dragged myself out of bed (which is kind hard for me to do in the middle of the night because I take a cocktail of prescription drugs right before bed that cause me to be quite dopey and to bump around with my eyes closed in the night) and I made my way to the phone which had just stopped ringing.

Who are these people and are they going to keep calling me!?

I opened up my phone and saw that, lo and behold, ALLISON was calling me!  Okay, here it is at 1:37am, and I’ve received 2 calls from her and one voicemail; this must be an emergency. I immediately called her cell phone because that is the number she called me from. Ring, Ring. I get no answer. This is alarming.  She could be calling me from the trunk of some evil man’s car.

So I dialed up and listen to her voicemail. It was exceedingly odd. She did not speak; instead there was a collection of strange noises like screeching and squeaking. Then some bumping noises, after which it then sounded sort of like a combination of a washing machine and a furnace. This was right in line with my theory that she was in someone’s trunk.

Then there was something that sounded vaguely like a toilet flushing. Disturbing. So of course I then called her home phone. It rang several times, with me getting more nervous with each ring, when she finally answered the phone.

I slur into the phone: “You called me. Did you need me?”
Allison: “Did I call you?”
Me: “Yes, you called me.”
Allison: “I did?”
Me: “Yes! You did. You called me from your cell phone.”
Allison: “No I didn’t. My phone isn’t even near me.”
Me: “It says right here on my phone that you called me at 1:34am.”
Allison: “My cell phone is across the room. I could not have called you.”
Me: “I know you called me.”
Allison: “Are you sure? Okay, I’ll go get it, it’s over there in my pants.”
Pause.
Allison: “It says I have missed a call! But I didn’t hear the phone ring. Oh, YOU called ME!”
Me: “I did not!!”
Allison: “Yes, it says here you called me at 1:37am. That was 5 minutes ago.”
Me: “Oh, yeah, I guess I did. But you didn’t answer the phone!”
Allison: “hmmm… I didn’t hear the phone ring. That’s odd… the phone is only a few feet away from me. Well, I’m sure I didn’t call you.”
Pause.
Allison again: ” …Oh, my phone says I called you at 1:34am.”
Me: “Exactly. Why did you call?”
Allison: “But I didn’t call you, my phone has been over there in my pants all the time.”….
Me: “You mean…. your PANTS are calling me?”
Allison: “They must be lonely.”

After a great deal of laughing, giggling and bending over in laughter, I giggled my way back to bed.

          Craig: “So who’s calling you in the middle of the night?”

          Me: Giggle, giggle… Allison’s pants!! Giggle, laugh out loud…

I giggled thoughout the night.